When we are about to try something new, we feel two things- excitement and fear. The thrill of doing something introductory to us sends some patronus of electrifying rush but the little anxiety of what we’ll face sends shivers down our spines. It’s both a good and a bad thing.

Out of your box. Out of your comfort.

This is for the 30-day writing challenge I’m currently doing.

It’s already the rainy Ber months. I can no longer take a bath in cold water. 2016 is going too fast. Other than my quarter-life crisis that doesn’t seem to subside, I’ve been out of the hot and cold weathers in facing my struggles lately. Breaking it down, hopefully I get some clearance.

My tailoring business

So lately, my cosplay costume shop‘s been going through a little craze. I’m lacking the manpower. Due to too much stress and probably a little bit of laziness and being a little fed up, I decided to go for a temporary hiatus. Doing it for 5 years nonstop can be a little tiring. Sometimes, I hate the fact that my passion and effort don’t rub on the people I work with.

But I have to do something, right? I want to save my shop. I love it, and I actually can’t imagine not being stressed out about it too. But I don’t want to make everyone feel what I feel just to prove a point. I want to understand everyone else’s situation. But as my mother says, I’m being too kind.

So being fed up with the situation of my shop, I decided to make an ultimatum (as my mom calls). I’l reduce being the lenient understanding person and actually be strict and firm about instructions I tell the people I collaborate with. Sure enough it might pain the other person a bit for me to do that, but it’s what I need to do.

A new business idea

I’m on an shopping train hype for a couple months now. Online shopping can be really convenient. Since I go through a lot of hashtags on IG and encounter a lot of RTW sellers, I got enough information to sum up that most of them have the same suppliers – same items, different prices. And that thought sparked an idea. Through some quick research, I was able to find some of the cheapest manufacturers for these RTW items.

But it hit me.

I was on a hiatus with my other shop due to being tired and fed up, and here I am again, looking for another stress to deal with. I wanted to rid myself of the thought that it’ll just be another problem I have to face because that’s part of the business. I wanted to push through with the idea, go away from of my usual pace of my day job and my current shop. But it’s a scary plan.

Promotion dilemma

So I’ve been with my current work for a little over a year now. I was offered a new position a few months back (which I am gloriously wanting to call a promotion since it’s kind of like that). The thing is, I need to make some sacrifices if I push through. Meaning permanently closing or laying low with my business and my freelance gigs, even lesser social life (though I barely have this anyway), wasting 4-5hours daily for traveling to and from work, additional expenses for food and transportation and my favorite thing, lesser sleep.

But I want it. I really do.

Saving up

I have a really bad saving up habit; in fact, I can’t even call it a habit, because I don’t do it at all. I know I need to, but just the thought of needing doesn’t motivate me enough. I need to do more steps.

Recently, I was *finalllllyyyy* able to open a proper savings account. It’s a start. I’m not used to it. I had to constantly ask my mom how that actually works because it was out of what I usually do. But I took a step. I’m only new to this saving thing as part of my life, but at least it’s kind of working now, because I decided to come out my usual box where I usually waste em on my online shopping lol.

Maybe, just wanting something isn’t enough. Maybe we have to go for it or we’ll never know for sure. Maybe I have to open that new shop. Maybe I need to take that promotion. Maybe I need discipline not motivation to save up.