I need approximately 3.5 seconds to go from “This is the best day ever” to “I want to knee everyone in the guts.” Apart from my resting bitches that make me look like I’m mad at every single thing, is apparently, my really bad temper that doesn’t help clear that I’m not always bitchy.

This is for the 30-day writing challenge I’m currently doing.

I mentioned how my best friend is always positive about things a few days ago, and I really need to learn that to hopefully tame down my anger management.

Okay, so maybe, I’m not the type to throw dishes, or books, or an angel figurine, or anything close at hand to someone when I’m mad, but I tend to shout – though not on purpose – but people don’t get that. You see, whenever a raging emotion fills me up, I get pretty appalled and pretty anxious. I even cry even if I’m the one who’s mad. I tend to raise my voice; something I don’t quickly notice.

Unlike others who carry their patience like their hair, I easily lose mine with slow learners, people who repeat the same mistakes or ask the same question over and over again even if I said it like I’m teaching a kindergarten.

I rant a lot. If you backtrack through my former blogs ever since I started, you’ll find how much I hated life, people around me, people I come across, what I do, what I don’t. (I’ve already deleted most of those blog from shame). I even believe that the friends I complain to are fed up with my constant dilemma about possibly every little thing.

But the thing is, people can easily say that you can just not get angry. If it were that easy then I – and a lot of other people – wouldn’t be struggling.

I’ve tried lots of method, rethinking my thoughts, counting to ten, breathing deeply. At times they work, most of the time they don’t. A friend mentioned about reading Dalai Lama’s Healing Anger which worked greatly for him. I might just do that and hope for the best if I come across a copy.