“I can never be grateful enough that I wasn’t your mom instead, because I can never do the things you do for us. Sobrang God-sent.”
That’s an excerpt from the letter I gave my mom during Mother’s Day this year.
My mom and I fight a lot.We argue even over the pettiest of things and I won’t deny that I talk back, no- even scream at her when she scolds me. That’s how bratty and seemingly ungrateful I can be.
I’m not even going to sugarcoat anything for the sake of reputation in the interwebs because this is reality. In fact, it’s a reality that I’m pretty sure a lot of us face. And I’m not scared to share the known mistakes that I did and do.
But you see, despite my mother and I’s long history of world war with each other, I sincerely meant what I quoted in the first line.
Out of the many events she proved to be the best mother ever, I can never forget how she supported me in my first ever breakup. She held me right in the middle of the bedroom, me all snuggled up, bursting my tears out into her now-wet shirt. But she didn’t say a word. She just held me close, rubbing my back in comfort. It all felt warm. I felt secured. I kind of felt a little happy and alright despite how my heart felt like it broke to tiny little pieces by the person I thought I’ll be spending my life with. It’s a basic teenage story, I tell you. But it’s probably the first time I actually felt like my mom cared for me in a whole different level than I would ever feel for her. And I’m truly thankful for that moment up to this very day.
It doesn’t end there. In my teenage years and occasionally to date, I get really bad cramps in the middle of the night. I’ll wake up and almost die a little from the pain and I couldn’t move an inch. My mom would get up from her bed, worried, possibly in panic at the pain of how I feel. And she’ll try to get me back to shape despite me interrupting her probably dream of cute little babies and fat Shiba Inu’s. It reminds me of how much more it could have been when I was just a little baby.. waking up every hour while I tell everyone that I peed, or that I’m hungry.
I’m sure it’s extremely debatable to others that my mom is the best mom ever. But honestly, I don’t care about what they think because it’s enough to know that this lady right here is my mom and she raised me and took care of me through thick and thin.
I see her as my safety place.
Because despite our week-long fights about how my things are so disorganized, or how much she feels that I’m ungrateful and disrespectful, she’s always there, ready to catch me on my weak moments.
In any situation, I can just walk up to her, hug her, and even without saying a word, her presence is enough for me to feel a little complete inside, feel a little better feel a little safer. And for me, that exact feeling can not be replaced by just anyone other than my mom.
Daily Prompt – Sanctuary