When you’re not a salad girl but sometimes you wish you were

A few days ago, I joined my friend for a quick 8pm dinner. We had a nice bowl of hand-pulled noodle soup and some classy and trashy conversations about lots of things… 2 hours later, it was no surprise that the cobras in the stomach den were already hissing for more. I told my friend about it and he replied, “stomach of a man.”

I wondered, how do some women take a small plate of veggies and dressings for a meal and put up a straight face like their organs aren’t complaining? I’m amazed.

 

For some socially-made misconception, it has been a  common mindset that ladies on dates order light meals such as salad, should be capable of doing housechores with the main requirement of knowing how to cook, keeping themselves prim and proper, weak and usually dependent on others, hates games and sports.

Some people take the idea of being different with a glaring look from head to toe with one eyebrow raised up. Like it’s a mistake to love online games when you’re a girl, or eat 4 cups of rice in Mang Inasal. Like it’s twice shameful for girls to have “the chair” for your unfolded clothes than guys or eat like you’re getting your head on a pike tomorrow.1369046429840

We’re not raising an excuse for these “flaws.” But sometimes, it makes me wish that I can be like “the other girls” for a change. For a society-accepted change. Because it’s easier. It’s easier to be what everyone accepts as right. It’s easier to blend in. It’s easier when you’re not judged by others because you want it the opposite way.

Whenever someone says “you’re a girl, so you’re weaker,” you have nothing to oppose on because its true. Whenever you lose from a game, you can simply say it’s because you’re a girl. It’s okay if you don’t know technical stuff, you’re a girl after all. You don’t have work? That’s fine, because men should be the one who gets a say at everything, earn bigger and stand firmer all the time. Everything- like how society dictates.

But then it crossed my mind. What if I’m not your salad girl?  What if I’m not the  woman defined by social standards? What if I want to be the steak girl, or the strong-willed girl, or the whoever girl I want to be? It’s unfair.

But amidst the seemingly great idea of just being the salad girl, it’s actually still great to know you can do some things that not all of  the women can. There are great women more successful than a lot of men. And that’s not because they remained how society defined the gender, but because they chose to stand out. They chose to be out there, make a choice. They didn’t let society hinder them from achieving anything.

It’s easier to be the common girl society came to know, but it’s better to be whoever you want to be.

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