Remember telling yourself that you’ll be sleeping early tonight but the whole week passed and you’re still up until 2am? Then, with whatever twist of faith, one day, you had your lights out at 11pm to finally be able to fulfill that goal. Then you suddenly remember your conversation with your crush, a vacation you’re looking forward to, or just wondering why you painted your ceiling a bright green. When you decided to finally sleep, you notice the time already ticking at 1am. You are not alone.

In the last 3 years, I have had migraine, low blood pressure, heart burn, and the most recent muscle contraction tension headache. I have been wondering why, especially after resigning from my toxic 10/6 schedule then (10hrs a day/6-day work) why these are still present. The last two doctors I went to, told me “masyado kang mahilig mag-isip,” you’re too fond of thinking. After careful pondering, I realized they were actually right. And my nail biting habit just proves that.

photo from 1ms.net

Taking a shower makes you indulge deep into thoughts, I hear that common culture, for lack of better analogy, a lot. But TBH, so does taking a dump, the time when traveling or before heading to bed.

I have no idea how people meditate. How can someone empty their minds? How can someone not think, ponder, reflect or whatever especially for so long?

Whenever I sleep, I need to think of the word sleep, literally. Like actually performing an internal monologue where I say the words “tulog” repeatedly in my mind. It’s my way of emptying my mind to rest. The only time I don’t need to do this is when I’m feeling really exhausted from a whole day hike or extremely ill with a 40C fever.

So I wonder if this question is answerable, how do you stop thinking too much?

This is also probably the reason why my writing takes a lot of my time. I want to write different topics at the same time, and different things while writing a certain topic. In the end, I keep none of those thoughts. I need to be able to write it down on a scrap piece of paper or prioritize the more important concept because the idea will woosh away in less than 5 seconds. But because of this, even though my thoughts are spectacular (lol), everything tends to be flushed down because I want to keep all those thoughts I came across with at the same time knowing I won’t be able to remember it after. Screw me right? This is probably also the reason why I have extremely long sentences filled with commas and at times none and my managing editor, ate KC, back when I was still a part of our university student press chops off my sentences like hell. Haha!

It is the very reason why I hate writing article or book outlines even though they help a lot. Whenever I write, I literally just write, and when I come to my senses, that’s when I organize the thoughts so it won’t reflect my messy mind so much. And I just noticed that this is also the reason I also claimed the WP URL justlostinthoughts, so I’ll switch to that URL any time soon.

As much as I  want to consider it a rhetorical question, it’s not. It’s becoming a pain how I have to talk to myself to get some nice rest, or I’ll continue on thinking on everything else besides it. Organizing plans for tomorrow, scheduling my life in the next years to come, or cross-breeding a mice and a cat because why not. It goes random and ridiculous, as long as I think, and it’s a nonstop process. It is the very reason why I love Lelouch Vi Britannia of Code Geass. He loves to think, and for sure, if I come across someone who has the ability to read minds like Mao from the same show, I’ll surely be toast.

Hell, I can’t even properly lay down my thoughts on this post as there’s so much action in my mind and I’m unable to put it into words nor type it as fast as my mind is processing.

So, going back to the question, how can someone not think?

LOL, and despite the song as my BG music unrelated to this whole thought, I am asking, I know I’m not the only one (Sam Smith)