What’s in it for me? or you? or anyone?

This is for the 30-day writing challenge I’m currently doing.

My tailor’s dad passed away last March. I wanted to help, even just little cash would be something. So I sent her some. I wasn’t thinking of anything in exchange for that because I can imagine how painful it is to lose a parent.

After the incident, month’s came by, some of my orders were starting to near their deadlines and I’ll be in a bad situation if they don’t meet their dues.

Then I thought to myself, I helped this tailor.. the least she can do is get these done. And despite true, I also hid it in the fact that it is after all her responsibility. Sure enough, I was sincere when I aided her financially. But a part of me was also thinking, She should be a little ashamed if she won’t be exerting any extra effort.

We don’t simply want to help someone out. Yes, this friend might be important, this relative we really love, or we really have something spare to offer, but in the end, somewhere deep down, a part of us thinks, if this happens to me, I hope he does the same. Maybe we don’t explicitly think so today, but tomorrow, when you’re desperate for something, you’ll remember the people you’ve helped once and hope their conscience would be tapped to save yourself from a situation.

And doesn’t that make us even a little selfish?

Debt of gratitude is the hardest to pay. Simple because there’s no real basis per se of what makes two things equal. And a lot of us, get a little selfish because of that fact.

I hate people who claim that they are never selfish like it’s the most disgusting trait ever.

But it’s a human trait still. We’re all imperfect. We all have needs. And if circumstances don’t go our way, we’ll be desperate to cling on whatever and whoever to get us back on our toes. That’s just how it is.