Can you really unlove someone?

Mini demons piercing the heart, memories that disrupt the mind, shattered little puzzles of hope – the morbid reality of falling in love. It’s like sending yourself to an all-out-war. You hope you won’t die, you’re aware you may, but you never expect it to be that soon.

We fall in love. We get hurt.

Yet, we all never seem to learn.

We hope that they’re different, they’ll be our happily ever after and the “last guy/ girl we’ll love.” Every. Single. Time.

It’s a planet-wide problem. People of all ages, race, gender and status encounter at some point in their life. And it doesn’t matter how much it’ll hurt in the end, because it’s the greatest feeling we’ll encounter despite challenges. And no matter how much love hurts. It keeps life intact.

I raise the question, “how do you stop loving someone?”

I asked a few friends for their insights. For the list they offered, it all boils down to two things.

DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION.

Swing your thoughts to things that make you happy. Keep yourself from thinking about the past. You can’t just kill the feeling.. but you can make yourself create reasons not to remind yourself of the person for the time being. Do that a lot, and you’ll find yourself forgetting what once was there.

Fall in love…with yourself.

How many times do you need to remind yourself that you need to be cautious not to break your already bandaged heart? Once? Twice? Ten times? Learn to value yourself a bit more. Leave love for yourself so you’ll know when is the right time to let go. No one will exactly know how you feel for someone, and it’s only you who can save yourself.

But despite all…

LOVE IS NOT SCIENCE NOR MATH.

A friend told me once before that love needs no thinking. It’s not a logical equation that has a definite or correct answer. It’s not an experiment that needs several studies to work out. Because when love comes, it doesn’t choose. It needs no reason and it needs no answers. It comes out for you to feel.

But finally, WHAT IF THE ANSWER IS… YOU never do?

I’m quoting my friend ate Lev, “Once you love someone and you leave them, whether you like it or not, a tiny sliver of love still remains somewhere inside you…”

I’m not actually passing through any love crisis. But it made sense- a lot of sense. You actually don’t. Because once you love someone, you’re sharing a part of yourself to them, and them to you. And no matter what, memories is what binds you. You can’t unlove someone like poofing rabbits in magician hats. You just learn to accept the fact that they want to continue a life without you being part of it. It takes long.. but it doesn’t take too long, for wounds heal with time and stopping your feeling unnaturally is like regretting you ever have to love them before.