We all have a mental list of ideal characteristics in a partner. Although most of the time, we don’t check majority from that list, we do have relationship deal breakers that would disqualify someone as a a dating prospect.

This is for the 30-day writing challenge I’m currently doing.

The writing challenge requests for 5 wins to my heart, but I’m really pretty shallow, so I deicded to go for 5 no’s to my heart.

Apart from the obvious should not be married, or has alcohol and drug problems, I have my share of deal breakers that *helps* me decide if a person should be pursued.

Too needy

I probably need a bang on the head to treat this as a deal breaker. Some actually love it when there partners are very dependent to them, but for me, I hate it. Besides the fact that I’m not really sweet, if I feel like you’re someone who needs constant care, updates regarding what I do every hour of my life, or the need to see each other every single day, then it’s an automatic no-no for me. 

I realized this with some of my former suitors. One always wanted to be with me, even in my 30-minute lunch break in school and we study in different colleges, he wants me to squeeze him in that timeline. The other commutes at least an hour from his house to my school almost every single day just to take me home which is 15-minutes away. I get it, those stuff are sweet, yes they are, but most of the time, I find that constant sweetness too dependent with the partner that it’s annoying.

Too egoistic

I’ve never met a potential dating prospect who’s too egoistic, but I have an accomplice who is. One of my friends often tease me into dating that guy, and that’s when I realized that it would never ever happen.

I have high dislike of anyone who has a high feeling of self-importance and is too self-centered. Like talking about themselves for 3 hours straight and not letting anyone cut in doesn’t seem to bother them at all. I don’t have the time to babysit (more so, date) a person who thinks too highly of themselves. I’ll be too full of him in no time.

Disappearing and reappearing

Anyone who ever disappears in my life just because he’s unsure and that he’s “finding himself” doesn’t interest me at all. I would probably never like someone who comes and goes into my life whenever he wants or whenever he thinks he’s ready. And that’s even if I already like or love you.

This is a recent deal breaker to me. When me and my first ex slash first love broke up 5 years ago, he asks for us to come back a few times since then. I rejected him at least three times. And right when I decided that I want to try us again and that still love him, he faded away for a petty reason. After a couple months, he was in a relationship to someone else. How fast considering he wanted to get us back every year since our breakup.

Ulterior or wrong motives

Don’t attempt to date me just because you can get free girlfriend *duties* like kisses, and hugs, and sex. That’s why most of the time, whenever someone wants to court me, I straight up mention that I’m a pretty conservative Christian so I can shoo away men who only want these kinds of things.

I’ve also once encountered someone who, when I asked why he wanted to court me, said, because “you seem easy.” I never got offended that much in my life.

Hurts anyone emotionally or physically

Be it me, or his sister, or a friend, or a stranger, or a stray animal. A person who shows any kind of abuse be it emotional or physical pain is off my list.

If you can’t control yourself, how can I? I don’t plan to be a battered girlfriend or wife nor can I ever tolerate a potential partner who intentionally hurts (or have fun doing so) anyone else just because I love you.