After our spontaneous lunch out to Tagaytay, I suddenly felt instantaneously close to those friends. Before, we were all just good friends who talked sometimes, but there was probably nothing more than just former schoolmates then. So it amuses me when my soft girly emotional side came out and dramatized our fun group chat.
I’m awkward af. I don’t know how to properly interact with people or even respond to certain emotions coming from a conversation. I’m very moody and can be very bossy and annoying. But despite that, some people are able to tolerate those quirks and imperfections simply because they are the right people you meet. I don’t know why it took me a while to realize this. It took me a good old friend to make me notice that all the wrong people I’ve met just made me wiser.
In my early college years, I was with a group of friends who were all good to me. But as years came by and our circle had people come and go, I realize I was one of the people who, for lack of better analogy, forced to go. It took me several months before I realized that they were hanging out without me, having conversations without me, and reasoning not to be with me.
It scared me to have friends because I feared everyone would just end up walking away from me or worse, pretend to like me.
It made me think that I can make do with just a handful of friends and with just two really close friends. I can make do with spending most of my time alone in front of the monitor inside the corners of my room.
But these stupid (as I call them) guys, they want me out of my house. And even when I didn’t want to see them, they gate crashed my house uninvited, welcomed themselves and deep within me, I was convinced that I’m actually a friend through that act. Like I’m not someone they want to push away or pretend to like. And it makes me feel wanted- special, even. And after we actually did hang out, it seems there’ll be several next times… like our ultimate Sports day. Like I’m not just trying to fit in where I don’t belong like I got used to.
I realized meeting the wrong people is part of growing up. They come into your life for a reason, and they also leave once that purpose is fulfilled be it for good or bad. You can use it to your advantage and take it as a lesson for better future decisions or take it as a trigger for self-doubt and low self-esteem. In the end, the outcome will only depend on how you react to it.